Starting Over
by kirstyllouise
Summary: Set after iLove You, yes I know it seems like forever since this was on but I really wanted to show Sam's more vunerable side and that only seemed to work if I set it after then :} Here I am sucking at Summarys WOOP!
1. Chapter 1

**Starting Over**

Sam's POV:

After me and Freddie broke up I was hoping things would just fall back into place, like everything would rewind and start over but in the back of my mind I knew that it would never happen.

We still bicker with each other but it's not like it used to be. There's no spark or energy, because we both know we don't mean it, and now after our 'fights' we don't just slip back into a conversation we fall into an awkward silence and I can't take it. I built up the walls around my heart for a reason and when Freddie managed to pull them down I still felt safe because I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but now here I am trying to rebuild the walls but no matter how hard I try, I just can't.

I lie down back onto my bed and curl up into a ball, quickly glancing at the alarm on my bedside table: **9:48PM** flashed on the screen, I shut my eyes tight and hoped that I can sleep without dreaming of Freddie...

**6:45AM**

My alarm rang from my beside table. I smiled to myself, that was the first night since our break up I didn't dream about Freddie and I hope it means I can finally move on, but I know I can't not now anyway...

After getting washed and changed I made my way downstairs, my mum still was't home and in a way I was glad because I couldn't deal with her at the moment, but knowing that she could still be out with one of her so-called 'boyfriends' still hurt me because even though she has a reputation she still has someone to call hers even if it is for a few days. I grabbed a breakfast bar out of the fridge along with some snacks to fill my bag with, I made my way to the front door grabbing my jacket from it's hook and walked out the door. The fresh air filled my nostrils and I finally realised how cold it was and swung my jacket around my body and put on. The sky was dismal along with my mood, as I trudged my way to Bushwell Plaza specks of rain fell from the sky "Great, this is just peachy" I mumbled to myself. Yanking the hood on my jacket around my head, tucking my hands into my pockets I walked a little faster hoping I would be able to get to Carly's before it started to pour it down.

10 minutes later I had arrived but I still got caught in the rain which got even more heavier soaking me through my jacket and the rest of my clothes, I sighed to my-self and made my way towards the stairs, generally I didn't like making any effort but this time I wanted more time to clear my head before I saw Carly, Spencer of Freddie.

Freddie's POV:

My mum was working the early shift at the hospital so when I got up I just took my time getting ready. I had a long shower before I got dressed, once i was ready I decided to make my way over to Carlys' so I grabbed my bag and hoodie and walked out of my apartment door only to be greeted by Sam but she just didn't look like herself, her hair was teased and it was clearly not brushed and she had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't had a good nights sleep in a good while.  
"What are you looking at nub" She hissed, I was shocked, I mean after we broke up we had a few arguments but she never acted like this towards me during those.  
"Sam, are you okay?" when I said that she gave me a death glare "Oh I'm just peachy, I wake up to an empty house and then on my way here it starts to rain making my mood even better! And I take the stairs just to have some time to think and now here we are. But Yep I'm absolutely fine" at the end of her rant she sounded exasperated, she leaned back onto the wall and slid down whilst letting out a big sigh. She clearly had something on her mind, "Sam, what's up? please just tell me"  
She sucked in some air before releasing it and looking into my eyes "Is it all my fault?" I was confused, I bent down and cupped her face and looked right into her deep blue eyes searching for an answer before she swatted my hands away from her face "what do you mean, is what your fault?"  
"The fact that everyone around me leaves, is it my fault my dad left me, Melanie and my mum" Her eyes where glazing over at this point "Is it my fault that Melanie couldn't take it any more so she left me and my mum, and then my mum can't stay around to take care of me, it's not that I can't take care of myself but why? And then there are the lucky few I could call my 'boyfriend' Pete stayed with me be then left for God knows what reason, Jonah stuck around just to get to Carly, then you now we can't even have a stable friendship it it me, am I the reason people leave?" she now had tears forming in her eyes, even when we where dating I never got to see this side of her, her head was now resting on her knees her hair covering the sides of her face so i rested my hand on the top of her head "Trust me Sam, I am never going to leave you" She lifted her head and looked at me "P-promise?"  
"I promise" turning the corners of my mouth into a smile. She looked at me and smiled before punching me in the arm "what the hell was that for?"  
She just smiled at me before laughing and through her fit of laughter she said"Just to lighten the mood" And that was it before we both where laughing, when we finally calmed down I stood up and offered her my hand, which I was expecting for her to swat away but she gladly took it then walked straight into Carlys' apartment.

I just gazed after her thinking "Her actions and emotions will never cease to amaze me"

**Thanks for reading please review and tell me what you think...  
And do you think I should keep a one-shot or make it longer  
:) **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys, so I didn't update this because I was stuck on what to do with it, but BOOM an idea came to me :P but I'm not going to tell you what it is :}  
**

**ilove2shipseddie: I don't know I live in the UK and say 'mum' but one of my friends calls her 'mom' so I suppose it's just preference :}**

DynamicLala: :} at least you can understand what I mean haha

**By the way Guys this is set two months after the last chapter, and it won't be following any of the episodes from the show. **

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****Sam's POV:

Since me and Freddie had our talk, things where a little better between us, we were still arguing but it was friendly.  
H was still buying me things when I didn't have the money, well it was more of me making him buy me things but the thing was he didn't object, which made it easier and made me think that maybe he does still care for me.

I was sat at Carly's, she was in the kitchen making cupcakes for the schools bake sale and Freddie was checking something on the iCarly site, which we finished filming 3 weeks ago, only because in 3 month we'd all be going to college, Carly will be moving to Italy to live with her dad and go to college there, as much as I was upset she was leaving, I was more upset because I was jealous.

Freddie and Me where staying in Seattle, He was only really staying for his mum because, well, they made a deal that if he stayed in Seattle for college she's pay to set up his own business in LA so in the end it worked out for both of them, and well me, I was staying in Seattle because well it was easy to go to and the only place I'd applied to, Carly and Freddie helped me get my grades up which I did, and I managed to Graduate which surprised all the teachers apart from Ted. He was the only teacher who actually believed in me.

"Hey Sam" Carly shouted me from the kitchen

"Yeah" I looked over at her

"want to help me put the Marshmallow Icing on these cupcakes, I'm running a little behind"

I smiled and nodded walking over to her. Grabbing a piping bag and helped her ice the cupcakes, Carly was always trying to help raise money but I always thought raising money for school was a waste of time but this time I didn't mind helping because this fundraises was to pay for the senior trip to France for a skiing trip but we'd also get the chance to go into Paris and look at all the sights and go shopping which Carly was definitely excited for.

"Okay, that's them all iced up" she said collecting all the cupcakes and putting them on a tray and she placed them in a fridge. "Now to start the next batch"

"Carly?" she looked at me "how many cupcakes do you need to make?"

"About 3 more batches of different cupcakes and then 2 full sized cakes"

I just smiled at her taking sympathy on her and her not being able to say no at helping people.

I waked over to the counter eating off Freddie's plate, He looked up at me and eyed me but then smiled at me, his smile made my heart flutter but I fought against it, smiling at him, I threw a bit of kiwi at his face, and that's when he grinned at me slyly, my smile disappeared as he got up off of his seat and ran around the counter easily picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder "Hey get off of me" I screamed but I couldn't help but laugh and he threw me on the couch and started tickling me "Sto-, Stop it" I said in between laughing.  
After about 3 minutes he stopped smiling at me and walked back to his seat at the computer. I looked at the fruit bowl on the coffee table, picking up a big orange and instantly aimed for his back and threw it.  
He landed on the floor with a thud, I walked over to him and lent over "That'll teach you to never tickle me again"

I walked back to my spot on the couch and lay down, I suddenly felt tired so I closed my eyes and slept.

Carly's POV:

Sam was still fast asleep of the couch which was probably for the best because I couldn't keep her entertained whilst I had to make these cakes I was on my last batch of cupcakes, but I still had 2 cakes to make, so far I had made Red Velvet cupcakes with Cream filling and Chocolate Icing topped with a fondant heart, I also made S'more cupcakes with graham Crackers and a piece of Hershey bar stuck in the Marshmallow Icing, Oreo Cupcakes with crumpled Oreo inside the icing and cram filling, I'd just finished making my pumpkin Cupcakes and I was now making my favourite cupcakes, Lemonade Cupcakes with Fresh Raspberry Frosting they were so nice and fresh it was starting to make me drool thinking about it.

I heard a chair being moved and looked over at Freddie, He moved from his seat and walked over to the coffee table and pulled out the blanket that I left there, he put the blanket over Sam, tucking her in, I smiled and looked away, I then heard footsteps, looking up I saw Freddie walking over to me. "Need a hand?" he asked

"Yes please" I smiled, I was so grateful that Mrs. Benson made Freddie take cooking lessons and bakery classes, he was amazing he started making my rainbow cake taking 5 thin cake tins filling it with cake batter mixing in the food coloring, before I knew it we'd finished everything, it had been ages me and Freddie had spent some time together and enjoyed it, we were laughing, music playing in the background, joking about things that we'd done in the past, all the good times we had doing iCarly and how our trip to France was going to be amazing.

I looked over at Sam, still fast asleep, Freddie followed my gaze "I'll take care of her you know".

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"when you go to Italy, I'll keep an eye on her, and make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble" he said, I smiled at him "Thanks"

We were cleaning up all the icing and flour that we'd gotten everywhere when Spencer came in through the door and ran straight to his room, when he came back out I had a proper look at him, He was covered in paint from head to toe "I'm going getting a shower" He said but before he left the room I yelled "Wait!"  
He stopped in his tracks "What?"

I pulled out a plastic sheet from one of the drawers and lay it in the elevator "Go back down and go hose yourself off first, he huffed before he started walking to the elevator again I stopped him "What now?" he groaned.

"Shoes off now!" kicked his shoes off and handed them to me I took them to the kitchen and placed them in a plastic bag before putting them on the table he looked at me as if I was going to stop him again but I just nodded towards the elevator and he let out a puff of air and when back down stairs.

"Carly?" Freddie asked

"Yeah" I asked backed wondering what he wanted.

"Have you ever wondered about what will happen about Spencer after you leave?" I shook my head not wanting to think about it.

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**Hey guys, I know it ends strange but I couldn't think of and ending for this chapter sooo… yep.**

**Please Review guys :} they make me happy and write faster xo**


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